megumi

breakups hurt.

what will make this pain in my chest go away?
sometimes all this emotional pain makes me kind of understand why people cut themselves... not that i would ever do something as stupid like that... but i understand a little why physical pain might be better than emotional pain... because this feeling in my heart hurts :(

its time like these where im sitting in my room by myself at 5 in the morning where i think too much... i wish i could think about something else... but all i wonder about what hes doing, or what girl he could possibly like after me... things like that.
why can't there be someone like him here... or actually... why couldn't he be here?

if he wanted to be together again.. i would still give him my everything.
i wish i didnt feel this way... because its never going to happen.

i just need to get over this. :(

i'm going to try to keep updating my live journal!

i'm glad that its finally the weekend.  it was nice that it was a 4 day school week.  although it still felt long.
- had a different mobio lab partner.  this one was better.  ptl.
- rush is finally over.  i hope having a little doesnt take up too much time this semester
- been trying to work out 3-4 times a week.  so far ive done 3... yay ^_^
- gotta start going to mobio SI.  the past few weeks have been a fail.
- i love the beautiful necklace shane gave me.  i havent been able to take a picture of it yet but i will and put it up here when i do! :)

yesterday, kaz and i went to j-town to get dinner/shop at marukai
we went to the tantanmen place in the courtyard.  here's what i got!

tantan-men


gyoza!
 

and then today we had an apo event at the in-n-out in westwood.  and then after that... i had this mad craving for sushi.. so i walked to Yamato and bought some spicy ahi crunchy sushi roll.  it was amazing!!!!  i was down for chipotle but that would have done massive food coma damage.   so i didnt.  =(
 

in-n-out
 

spicy ahi sushi = foodgasm

 

yayyyy for updates with pictures!! :)

i am seriously finding it difficult to update my livejournal these days.
life after bf + coming back to USC -> more busy michele.  although i really don't mind being busy like this.  it is nothing compared to last semester.  that was death, im not sure how i'm still alive after last semester!  but i somehow made it!

i'm glad that i dropped c3.  as much as i miss dancing, i don't think i could put myself thru another year of extracurricular+academic overload.
i am quite happy with the level of my classes.. they are difficult, but its not like it can get any easier than this... only harder.  so its all G. 
and i am very very happy to be with my wonderful bf.  ive never met anyone so understanding and loving as him!  unlike the rest, this one is definitely a keeper =)

Since I never really stated my goals for the semester in a previous post, here goes:

1. Less procrasination, More productivity
2. Always have time for Shane
3. Get work done on time without having to pull all nighters before it is due
4. Work out often
5. Better grades, of course
6. Less Partying.

Hopefully, I can stick with this!  Heres to Fall semester junior year!

wow, im going to keep a long story short....

today, i got a new macbook pro and a ipod touch.
i didn't even need it.  (i don't feel like explaining it)

but the macbook pro is pretty sick!
i like =]

i feel terrible and spoiled in a time where my family is not doing to well financially. 
i wish i could so something to help...
for example... like get a second job...
except, its difficult to find a job since im only staying for 1.5 months....

sooo i FINALLY got a louis vuitton bag!!
ive been dying to get one for the longest time, and now its in my hands!  yesss!



that is all.  i am quite content with life right now.

i have not touched my molecular biology textbook for 2 weeks.
ever since i got my ndstt card for the ds, ive been playing pokemon! i've already logged in 40 hours.  this is pathetic.  but i feel the need to play the game because i am bitter that i lost my pokemon pearl game on the bus on the way up to nikkei ski trip during my 1st year at usc.  i logged over 100 hours in that game, and im going to train my pokemon in the game i have now to the same caliber or greater.  wow, i sound like a loser.

i swear that after i accomplish my mission with this pokemon game, i will go back to mobio.  i swear....
i liked going to starbucks after work to get some studying done.  err.... i just like going to starbucks&cafes in general.... but i believe its the best place to study!

pokemon is causing me to get even less sleep!

& im getting fat.  i NEED to work out.
& life would be so much easier if i had my own car.... everybody else is so lucky...

omggggg.
left the car parked outside on the streets with the window WIDE OPEN for a few hours.
nothing happened.... i think .... but im so pissed off at my stupidity.

if that car was gone.... i would have never forgiven myself!!!!!

thank you, whatever was looking out for me, for preventing my car from getting stolen.

i hope something as stupid as this never happens again.

in effort to set my sleeping schedule rite, i took a sleep aid pill @ 11pm last nite...
result = still did NOT get tired...
instead, i was really REALLY drowsy at work today and i couldn't function at all.  i couldn't type as fast, i couldn't carry out tasks normally although my thoughts were pretty clear and normal.... it felt so weird.  like, i would think of something to do, but then i couldn't physically do it as quickly as i would normally have been able to.
i drank so much caffeine today but im still pretty tired rite now.  this blows...

and as for work.... im almost finished with the ICSC presentation for ala moana... thank god.  i hate making presentations.  i'm so terrible at making them.

i hope i don't feel as drowsy tomorrow as i did today... im never taking those stupid sleep aid pills ever again!

twitter!!!

http://twitter.com/gimmec0okies

昨日の夜マジたいくつしちゃって、携帯にシール貼っちゃいました！
そして。。結果は：


前に使ってた携帯がこわれたから今はこんな最悪なダッサイのを使っています。（契約が終わるまでね）携帯がなんかたりないと思ってシール貼ったんだけどこんなになちゃいました。
　　　　　　　　
I was really bored last night so I put all these stickers on my lame phone. I thought that it would make it cooler..... haha but my bad, it looks like a grade school kid's phone. pathetic. but oh well, at least i don't have to stare at my plain-looking phone anymore i guess?

I got this phone strap at Shibuya 109. Cute right?






sorry, lots of pictures in this post!

today i realized that i really am not that unfortunate.
i was talking to a coworker today and she told a story about one of her friends.  apparently, she shares room with 3 other people, one of them being her boyfriends well-aged stripper mother who has tb who transferred it to her new-born baby who she had with another man. what a complicated life... i don't think my life could ever get this complicated.  i feel really terrible for the baby and i feel very fortunate that i grew up in a world where my parents are still together and we can afford to live comfortably.  sometimes i do wish that i was balin' rich like some of my classmates, but when you look at the glass half full... i think i can say that im content and grateful for who i am and where i am.
... which brings me to my next point...
my parents have done so much for me, and all i do is talk back.  its terrible, i know.  my dad hasn't had one day off for months and my mother is busting her butt off to renovate our house.  i can't immediately change my lazy personality, but i know i have to try.  i know i need to get off my lazy ass and help out.  i like having things go my way.... i like setting a schedule for myself and when another action causes the delay of what i have planned for the day, it just throws me way off guard and it frustrates me.  like... today i was planning to go study after dinner, which i expected to be finished before 8.  however, my mom caused a delay in my planned out night that we didnt finish our crappy but decently pricey dinner till almost after 9.  that one hour that i lost felt crucial and i lost motivation to study.  i mean, i don't really want to go to starbucks for 1.5-2 hours if i know im going to get distracted for a total of about 30 minutes of that time.  i know, i'm so ocd. 
i need to learn to adjust to people.  and i need to learn how to give up a little and to help others.  a hard task of course, but it doesnt hurt to try???

i know im not going to change right away.  and hoping that i will won't do anything.  so i'm going to DO and not hope. 
-> i need to learn how to destress or not get stressed so easily.  [need anger management!]


also, today marks the first day since ive been home... or i should say... since finals that i have gone running.
my legs felt like jelly and i felt like i was running sooo slowly.  i only lasted for about 12 minutes, and i think i can say with confidence that i ran about a mile.  pathetic.  i need to eat healthier and work out more.  and lose all this excess fat.

but one thing at a time....

i wish my life were a romantic comedy with a happy ending.

Day 1 of Thanksgiving Break: Thanksgiving Day

it was nice to wake up late and not worry that I have class today. I went over to a friend's place to sleepover cuz I honestly do not want to deal with the 6 or however many people are in my apartment.

so yesterday after I got booted out of the library at 5PM (which was totally lame since I actually wanted to get work done yesterday) I went back home and then went to the grove with one of my friends. the grove was amazing. the christmas decorations were up and it was so beautiful! =]I definitely want to go back to the Grove sometime before I go back home for winter break.  
anyway today I need to get work done.  meaning, I have to finish reading that book about Samoan people and their everyday lives. 

sitting in the library analyzing a case study about samoan culture for a final paper while eating craisins and sipping on lukewarm coffee at 3 in the afternoon is definitely not something I want to be doing when there is a four-day weekend coming up.
it almost makes me feel unthankful.  and wish that it wasn't thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to be thankful for stuff and to spend time with your family.
but i'm stuck here in LA instead of being home with my parents in Hawaii.  not fair.  I hate that a lot of people can just drive home or live in the Bay and they can just catch a short plane ride home.  If I went home, I would just spend a whole day traveling. so it's not worth it at all.  But just the thought of making it home for a few days and being able to eat all the good food I've been craving for months is definitely making me sad because i know i can't go home.

instead i have to sit here in the fucken library and try to read a book that i don't give a shit about and write my paper during this break because c3 and this dumb hip hop class is going to be taking over my life next week.  and with apo initiation and paddle decorating.. god, my life is blahhhhhh.

it sucks when you like somebody who probably doesn't think of you in the same way.
=(

i was using blogger.com till now, but i thought live journal was way cooler.  so here i am.
i'm not sure how to navigate through this site yet, but i'm sure ill get used to it soon!